A Bangkok Calamity

What do a baby monkey, scuba diving, a cab driver and calamine lotion have in common? Absolutely nothing; except that each of them contributed to the chaos of my first day in Bangkok.

It started a few days before on Koh Phi Phi, an island off the western coast of Thailand. A friend invited me to go sea kayaking to Monkey Beach, a small stretch of beach inhabited by a troop of rather devious monkeys. Usually people bring food offerings for the monkey, however we didn’t get the memo. Luckily there were more than enough people who did to keep us entertained. The monkeys also accepted water bottles; we found this out when a large monkey took one of our water bottles and my friend had to trade a banana someone had given him to get it back. These particular monkeys were very forward and several of them had quite the personalities. The most notable was a male with no left hand who was by far the meanest; he would accept no gifts, but rather yell at anyone that came near him. The largest male strutted around taking anything he wanted from other monkeys, not bothering to deal with us humans.

However, neither of them was the monkey who started my fiasco. The culprit was a small, adorable baby monkey. He had the biggest, begging eyes, and politely sat at my feet waiting for a drink out of my water bottle. I knelt down and gave the little guy a drink. After a few seconds out of the corner of my eye I see a larger monkey running towards us screaming. I quickly made a move to get up and away, but there was no way I could have avoided the little monkey latching on to my leg and biting my leg. I use the term bite very loosely; the result was only two small dents, and the skin wasn't even broken. Still, monkeys are carriers for rabies and it’s highly recommended to go to the hospital if you are ever bitten. There was just one major problem: I only had an hour and a half before the last ferry to Phuket was leaving, and I had no choice but to be on it. The day before I had put a large deposit down on a three day scuba live aboard and the shuttle up to Koh Lak would be waiting for me in Phuket. At this point I'm sure it seems like the choice would be easy: take care of the monkey bite, risking my health wasn’t worth the money I would lose. The thing was, I had already had my rabies shots; I would only need a booster no matter when I went to the hospital. In the end I chose to take the ferry and head up to go scuba diving.


Over the course of the next three days I did a total of 12 deep dives, and got my advanced open wate certificate. One of the biggest topics in my study material was decompression sickness; the most common physical manifestation is a skin rash. I have never been very good at buoyancy, in fact I’d say I was the worst on the boat. I consistently had problems, especially in the last 10 meters. When surfacing in scuba diving it is vitally important to take a 5 minute break at 5 meters; which I attempted, although regularly had issues with. I disembarked from the boat with no plans of what to do next on my Thailand adventure. My scuba instructor told me there was an overnight bus leaving in 30 minutes. She directed me to the place where I could purchase a ticket. The man in the shop made a phone call and informed me that specific bus full, but I could catch another bus that left in five minutes. It would eventually catch up with the overnight bus, which I could then transfer to. I rushed back to the dive center, grabbed my pack, hurried into the grocery store, bought cookies and sweet bread for a make shift dinner, and then was ushered into the awaiting bus. The two bus rides went smoothly without issue. It wasn’t until I woke up and found a huge rash on my arm that there was a problem. Instantly my mind jumped to decompression sickness. I’ll admit, it was a bit of a far jump considering that I had done at least some time at the decompression stops at the end of each dive. Still, between the rash and the monkey bite I decided a visit to the hospital was on the to-do list for the day.

Since I had only had minutes to prepare for my trip to Bangkok I didn’t get a chance to book a hostel. Once we arrived at the bus stop I set out to find what time the hostel a friend had recommended would open. I had opted not to buy a SIM card for my trip and there was no Wi-Fi around, so I went into a 7-11 to see if someone could help. It took a little while to communicate what I needed, but eventually one of the girls found that the hostel didn't open until 8:30 am, three hours away. It seemed as though it was a good time to head to the hospital. I had the man who was organizing the taxis to tell the driver to take me to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital I paid and thanked the taxi man and headed inside. However, as soon as I walked in I knew he had taken me to the wrong one; this was not a hospital for a foreigner. The biggest issue was only two people spoke English, which was broken at best. The hospital consisted of one big room, lined up on one of the walls were beds occupied by old and sick patients. Exams were performed behind curtains in the back of the room. My favorite part was that all of the nurses wore matching outfits and shoes. The female nurses wore nurse outfits from the 50’s, with white dresses and the hat, and the men wore white pants and shirts. Eventually I was able to communicate my situation to one of the receptionists and a nurse led me to one of the exam areas. I waited for a while for a doctor to come talk to me. When she finally arrived, she asked me how long ago I got bit by the monkey, "Three days." The look of horror and astonishment on her face was remarkable. I quickly handed her my vaccine records and explained that I already had a rabies series done back in The States. As I expected, I only needed a rabies booster shot. As for the rash on my arm, she said it was only an allergic reaction and not decompression sickness. She prescribed me an oral and a topical medications: antihistamine and calamine lotion. I had already paid by the time I realized I didn't need either of the medications. Since the whole visit only cost around $30 I just laughed to myself and headed out to grab a cab to the hostel.

In good traveler form, I had the address of the hostel and two maps with it clearly marked. I dumped my stuff into first cab I flagged down. Once I got inside I gave him the address, problem was he didn't speak English. He also didn't read English, so he couldn't understand the map. I hauled my stuff out and flagged down another, same issue. By the third taxi I stopped putting my stuff in the back of the car. Finally I decided I should stop and figure out where I was. I went to a bus stop, unfolded my large map and started asking people where we were. It took four or five people to figure out where we were because they couldn't read the map either. Once they showed me where I was on the map it was clear that the first cab driver had in fact taken me to the wrong hospital. I was way up in the top right hand corner of the map and where I needed to go, where the tourists would be, was in the bottom left. A woman patiently tried to explain how I could get to my hostel using public transportation, but I graciously told her I would continue looking for another cab. I went to the entrance of a cancer treatment center to ask the guards if they could help me. The first directed me to a second, who then directed me back to the first. Right when I thought I had run out of ideas a woman called after me; she spoke English! I showed her where I wanted to go on my map, she hailed down a cab and gave him directions. I was finally on my way to the hostel, all thanks to a very kind woman who went out of her way to help.

The cab dropped me off near the hostel and I headed in. I walked in, exhausted but still greeted the guy at the front desk with a smile and told him I was looking for the cheapest room they had. Before he could respond the grumpy man next to him rudely informed me that they only had single private room which were three times the price I would pay for a bed in a dorm. I was so frustrated with how rude the one man had been that I didn't even want to ask for the Wi-Fi password. I walked down the street hoping to find a restaurant that I could get internet at. It was still only 8:30am so next to nothing was open. Luckily I found a hotel restaurant with a breakfast deal and Wi-Fi. I searched up a good looking hostel that was only a 15 minute walk away. However, the walk ended up being closer to 25 minutes because I was so exhausted and couldn’t walk very fast. The hostel had a bed, but it wouldn't be ready for another three hours, good enough for me. I plopped down in a chair to wait.

For the next day and a half I diligently put the calamine lotion on my arm and made sure not to scratch it. After I took a shower on the second day, I touched my arm for the first time and I realize just how raised the rash had become. I did the worst possible thing anyone can do when faced with an unknown medical issue: I went on Web MD. I freaked myself out and decided to go to the hospital again, a tourist one this time though. When I walked in I knew I was in the right place. The waiting area was very open with comfy chairs and tables and there was a real reception desk with a woman who spoke English. I didn't have to wait long to talk to the doctor this time. She informed me that it wasn't decompression sickness; a rash from that would be all over my body and not raised. She confirmed it was an allergic reaction and asked to see what the other doctor had prescribed me. Ends up the calamine lotion had been drying out the rash, which was what caused it to get worse. She prescribed me antihistamine and a steroid cream. I declined the antihistamine that time, but graciously took the cream. $60 later I left a Thai hospital for the final time on that trip; the calamity was finally over.

A baby monkey takes a nibble on my leg. Scuba diving sends me into a panic. Cab drivers can't understand me. Calamine lotion makes a rash worse. The series of fiascos that ensued had such strange connections. Yet, that is one of the beauties of travel. You never know what to expect; you just need to expect the unexpected.